The theory of twelve lives

A colleague told me that each of us has 12 lives. She said that we each live a life under each sign in the zodiac. Where we are in the zodiac cycle only indicates how many lives we have had before and how many more we have to go, before we live our 12th and final life. Aries are at the start of the life cycle. Pisces are at the end.

I am a Pisces and at the end of my 12 lives. My LSH (long suffering husband), on the other hand, is an Aries so if just at the start of his 12 life life-cycle. In essence he is much much younger than I am.

It dawned on me that this is perhaps  why LSH is so much more easy-going than I am. In my defence, he is not carrying around 11 previous lives worth of baggage. It also made me think that what I am doing now is the best this soul is ever going to be. Which only made me question how can my middle-management job, house in the suburbs and my general life dripping in average-ness be the best this soul is ever going to be? URK. Only mildly depressing.

Admittedly life is, in reality, quite beautiful. I do tend to over dramatise for effect. I certainly don’t mean it take it for granted. I have a wonderful LSH, a house I love being in and a dog that makes my heart burst with love. Still…Surely I should be sitting by my pool, sipping sangria under the shade caste by my enormous and completely ostentatious castle. You know, what with this being my last attempt at life and all.

My next thought was predictably, but I only know of one life so I really should get out there and get amongst it (like I did before I became this age and boring) and live like it was my last day on Earth.

Of course, if today was my last day on Earth, I wouldn’t be spending it walking up and down aisles of the supermarket filling my trolley with groceries.

To say “live each day like it’s your last” is so flawed it’s impossible to do. If we lived each day like it was our last we’d never go to work. Let’s say, for instance, that tomorrow, I turn over a new leaf and start behaving as though it’s my last day on Earth. First thing I’d do is ring my boss and say, “oh by the way, I am living each day like it’s my last and therefore will be partying it up with friends and family, getting boozed on $1000 bottles of champagne, eating beluga caviar and lobster on the coast rather than come in today. Hope you don’t mind. If it turns out I’m not dead the day after tomorrow, I will live that day like it’s my last as well, and won’t be coming in to the office then either.” See, like I said, impossible.

I do like the idea of making the most of it all. I have a quote pinned to the board in my office at home. It reads:

“If I had my life to live over, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax, I’d limber up. I would be sillier than I have this time. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would take more trips. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice-cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but fewer imaginary ones.

“You see, I am one of those people who live sensible and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

“I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had my life over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and I would stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.”

Nadine Stair, 85 Years old, Louisville Kentucky.

The irony isn’t lost on me that I have this pinned to a board in my home office.