Sometimes...

Sometimes things happen in life and they don’t make sense.
This is disconcerting.

While I’m not religious, I have, as mentioned in previous posts, been raised by a woman who is both slightly religious and slightly superstitious. As a result, I spend my life worrying if I am going straight to hell for walking underneath a ladder.

As fallout, I also genuinely believe everything happens for a reason. (I can just see one of my friends now shaking both head and fist at me for my stupidity, but there it is). I believe that when we go through something shite it’s for a reason.

For instance, LSH was made redundant over a year ago - about five minutes after the GFC started and there were no jobs to be had at all. Talent, skill, personality and company fit aside, when there aren’t any jobs, offers cannot be made. As a result of this experience we worked out that A. we spend way too much money on crap and B. when one income is taken away we are really resourceful.

While it was a stressful time for both of us, it did show us that things like bushwalking – while it used to seem quite naff, was actually a great way to get exercise, explore some far off mountains and get in touch with ourselves (in a PG rated kind of way). It also showed us that we didn’t need as many things as we thought we did. We rediscovered the library and both enjoyed pouring over books and reading things that we would never would have read before.

Oddly, the lesson we learnt was to enjoy the simply things in life a little bit more.

And this approach is all well and good, except when ridiculous things happen to other people for no perceiveble reason. For instance, I have a friend who is really sick. Too sick, surely for one woman to have to deal with. Unfairly sick, for someone of her age and contribution. Her husband, and now ex-husband, has turned out to the be the most awful, useless, self-absorbed human being and I can’t find anything that will bring sense to her situation.

Usually, a friend would provide guidance along the lines of:
“Have you tried looking at things from this perspective?”
“Here’s a list of well thought out and considered reasons for why you are better off now.”
“Perhaps try this awesome solution.”
Or even a golden platitude, “things will be better tomorrow.”

At this point in time, I can’t say any of those things. I know the story and I can't find the bright side. I certainly can’t see the silver lining – except to say that she has shed a man who is weak and shameful and a true scourge on the human race. Is that enough consolation? I doubt it.

Oddly, I feel castrated. My proficiency as a friend has been removed. All I’ve to offer are two ears and a shoulder. And I don’t feel that is enough. I feel ashamed that I can’t find the right words or have the knack of saying the right thing – because she’s smart enough to know fluff from real insight. There are no words of wisdom and there are no salient points to be made. There is no logic, there is no rhyme and there absolutely is no reason.

Nothing about this situation makes sense. I can’t fathom any of it and it’s not even happening to me so I can’t even begin to try to explain or truly comprehend what she deals with on a daily basis. Sometimes, it seems - and destabilising at it is, things are just shit just because they are really shit and sometimes that's not good enough.